Howard’s Hotties - The Sexiest Guests Ever Seen on Radio

Today we’re checking out Miss Howard TV for July 2008 more closely since July is officially here. This hot 26 year old honey proudly stands at 5′5”, 125 pounds for Howard TV. Her rack stats are 36C-25-34, which sounds shapely and looks even more shapely to us. Oh yeah, and her name is Christine LeMaster – we often forget the ask the girl’s names until the end…

Anyway, Christine is the babe who won the Heavy.com contest to get herself the lofty title of the next Miss Howard TV for July. She thinks Gange is nice, cute and hospitable and Vern “Mini Me” Troyer is very sweet. Sounds like our kind of girl because there’s definitely hope for inconsiderate horny bloggers like us. Artie admitted he thought about her all night before she appeared on Howard’s show and we like to think about her at night, too…maybe even visit Clearwater, Florida to check out the other babes from that town. On her website, I Dream of Christine, she lets us know she looks like her mom and has 2 sisters…we’d love to check out their assets, too, since Christine claims she gets her looks from mom. Either way, we’re sold on Christine and would love to take a deep sea swim with this Pisces…

It’s another edition of Rack up the Hotties, the time we all compare notes about the sexy guests on Howard’s show to figure out which one we’d want to strip down first. The criteria is simple - who inspires the biggest boner.

We had a lot of hot babes to consider this week. Cindy Margolis visited Howard to promote her July spread in Playboy. During her visit, she discussed a fascinating oral sex technique on women using two fingers and a tongue that was really enlightening. This is just the type of information we want and getting it from a curvy blonde like Cindy makes it even more titillating…

Then we got to check out AJ Morgan again, this time with implants. AJ’s claim to fame is being the anal ring toss girl. We’re fascinated by her skills and intrigued she prefers to get screwed with a butt plug in. We also spent some time ogling Victoria Stevens from Bowling Beauties, simply because she enjoys showing off her ass and we like watching it.

We appreciated Dani, an amateur pole dancer married to Jon, who visited the show to “Win Fred’s Money”. While she didn’t win the money, she admitted she’d do anything with her husband when drunk, including anal sex - with her pole dancing skills, she’s a definite keeper. Howard let her take a ride on the Sybian, which ultimately pleased her (though she didn’t think it would work) and she asked if she could have one…

It was tough to rack up the hotties with week and all that anal action from AJ and Dani almost had us sold…but we just can’t resist Cindy’s sexy tutorial about giving oral sex…

Today a guy named Jon stopped by with his wife Dani to play “Win Fred’s Money” on Howard’s show. When Artie admired Jon’s wife’s legs, Jon insisted, “You should see her ass. Honey show them your ass!” Howard appreciated the way Jon took charge and Dani admitted she’d do anything for hubby when she was drunk…even anal sex. Now that’s a marriage!

Anyhow, after answering quetions like how long is a furlong (an eighth of a mile by the way), the winner was Fred in a mere 48 seconds. Howard raised the curtain on delicious Dani and was impressed. Artie let Jon know he was dumb as a rock, but his wife was hot. Artie inquired about wife sharing and Jon seemed approachable but Artie doubted if she’d go for it.

After awhile, delightful Dani (an amateur pole dancer) decided to take a ride on the Sybian. Seems Dani was a horseback rider so she’d do it for Howard. Dani doubted if she could climax but eventually Howard turned the Sybian up to 100 percent. It buzzed for about two minutes and Dani succumbed to its charms. After demanding Gary shut off the Sybian, Dani admitted she was sweaty and her legs were gone saying, “Can I have one?” Can we have one like Dani?

Today we decided to check in on the Bowling Beauties, those luscious lovelies that give balling a whole new meaning. Yes, we’ll never think of sweaty men and bowling again after watching these curvaceous honeys bend and throw the ball…

Anyway, we couldn’t help but check out Victoria Stevens. After all, she talked so eloquently about bowling beauties day on the Howard TV blog. Horny bloggers are pleased that she loves to bend over to show us her tushy, which also happens to be her favorite part. She wisely realizes the sexual power of high heels and how they can get guys like us to do…well, anyway Victoria loves the bikinis everywhere and frankly, we think it should be mandated that all hot babes must wear a bikini to bowl. Victoria can’t imagine what more a girly girl like her could ask for than to get dolled up and compte against other hot girls. We can’t ask for much more either…and Victoria even hints that she’d dig a “sexy stud” like Howard. He really does have the best job around…

Victoria has plenty to offer and was discovered through a P-Diddy party casting call. She’s appeared in Maxim and Playboy’s CyberGirls DVDs. With a desire to show off her ass, we don’t care if Victoria is a bowling winner…she sure scores in our game!

On the same day Howard spoke to legendary comedienne Joan Rivers, he also welcomed the Anal Ring Toss girl, formally known as A.J. Morgan, to the studio. In fact, AJ was a prior visitor to the studio while she still had her real boobs and she played anal ring toss with the Iron Shiek.

AJ admitted she hadn’t even considered anal sex before porn star Chester the Molester. Now she loves screwing with a butt plug inserted and we think it sounds hot. Howard wondered about having accidents on the set and AJ let us know she gets a “professional anal douche” which sounds a lot like a stinkin’ enema to us. The hour long multi-douche process gets AJ ready for anal action, so we won’t knock it but don’t think we’ll be trying it any time soon.

Anyway, the winner of anal ring toss would get a wedding invitation from Howard and the loser would have to take ten deep whiffs of Sal’s ass. After several refused the terms, Richard accepted the opportunity to challenge Artie. After Artie got 3 of 7 throws, Richard beat him by making 4 tosses in a row. Despite his win, Richard went through with the punishment knowing everyone would be disappointed otherwise. After Richard gagged and announced, “Sal’s flexing that hemorrhoid. It’s the most vile thing I’ve ever seen.” Adventurous anal hottie AJ went for a whiff and Sal tried to fart but took it to the next level as she got closer.

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It was a welcome return to show form today, as Howard hosted both the lovely Cindy Margolis and a revival of in-studio favorite Dial-A-Date. Cindy–who swung by to promote her spread in the July issue of Playboy–was behaving particularly fetching, as she has been celebrating her recent divorce by behaving like a 20 year-old and letting herself go a bit. Cindy seemed completely capable of having a good time when she was hitched, so it’s pretty easy to let your imagination go crazy with the prospect of an out-and-about, let’s-have-some-fun incarnation of The Internet’s Most Downloaded Woman.

The three contestants–Ralph (not that one), Ryan, and Double A–were each asked to describe the date they’d take Cindy on, and after hearing their answers, which involved helicopter rides and trips to Atlantic City, Cindy seemed quite nonplussed. How dare these guys not try their best to bed Cindy?! Not only are they in the same room as this hot blonde, they’re very, very, VERY close to taking her on a date. If I was there, I would’ve had index cards and flow charts that would clearly show my eagerness to do what it takes to get Cindy’s…um…full attention.

The guys’ disappointing performance–Jesus, Double A, do you really think Cindy needs money?!–was only compounded by her wonderfully frank discussion of her preferred oral sex technique on women. Let’s just say it involves two fingers and a tongue, and let’s just say to hear such a detailed strategy from such hotness should encourage us all to learn (and teach!) such a specific plan of attack. Whew!

Another day at Howard’s studio, another hottie from Playboy describing her favorite ways to please a woman. Some jobs are definitely better than others.

Howard had two sexy celebrities in his studio in one day - Carly Simon and Kathy Griffin. Both are opposites and unique, but horny bloggers would hit either one. Those large lips on Carly get our fantasies going…and who can’t get down with a girl who makes you laugh?

Anyway, Howard talked to Carly with her son Ben, who is in her band. Howard discussed Carly’s breakup with singer James Taylor and she said she reached out to him about a year ago. Carly admitted she loved James but there didn’t seem to be much chance of a romantic relationships. According to Ben, the two did a lot of hurting and cheating at the end. Ben talks about his dad and said, “There’s coldness between the two that he initiates. I feel like the reason people don’t talk to him about it is because he’s extraordinarily intimidating.” We can’t imagine anyone feeling cold toward hottie Carly…

Anyway, Howard also talked to comedienne Kathy Griffin, who stopped by to promote the new season of “My Life on the D-List”. She claimed to have recently caught Robin mid-booty call. Howard told Kathy he’d be afraid to bed her because, “I feel like you’d laugh. You’d be analyzing me.” Kathy says she’s different in the sack and open to role playing and licking balls - so who gives a crap if she analyzes along the way?

So would you hit either of these honeys? We think it might be something a little different…

Lindsay Lohan

Howard spoke to “Mini-Me”, otherwise known as Verne Troyer, in the studio when he stopped by to promote “The Love Guru” with Mike Myers. Verne liked working with Mike and said, “I have a good time with him”. Verne apparently doesn’t need a love guru himself since he’s doing quite well with the ladies.

Howard asked how it was to grow up and bag chicks as a 2′8″ person. Verne let him know he had normal-sized siblings and was expected to do everything they did, “I learned to deal with it. I don’t think about it, really.” Verne admitted he got laid just a week ago, which is a better record than regular-sized horny bloggers.

Anyway, Verne bagged a Playmate of the Year, did it with a B-list co-star and even had a threesome. Seems like he could be a love guru! Guess small men score big…and nothing is holding Verne back. He proudly admitted he got to see Lindsay Lohan’s panties when he was onstage with her at the MTV Movie Awards. “I don’t think she knew she’s be going out there with me. They were pink.” Howard asked Verne what he’d do with a hot babe like Lindsay Lohan or Megan Fox and he replied, “Slap her around a little”, which Howard appreciated as a good answer. Let’s check out both babes and see which one we’d like to slap around a little first…

There was a dispute over clips played from the “Wrap-Up Show” about Gange griping about Howard treating him differently than Artie regarding Tracy, Miss Howard TV for May. Howard hooked Artie up with Tracy because he’s on the air but Gange felt that violated the “code of men” for a girl he was “working”. Howard said it wasn’t the code of men and felt, “That’s the code of douchebags…That’s the code of assholes…That’s the code of a f’ing loser!”

Willie Nelson’s daughter Paula called in to play a round of “What’s Cliff Palate Saying” and would up discussing her career as a masseuse, including the fact she massages dad Willie which freaked out Howard.

Best of all, June Miss Howard TV was chosen and welcomed to the studio by Howard. Christine visited with her husband and discussed she was a fan of shaved balls, saying, “When I lick them, I don’t want any stubble.” Her husband seems to be a happy guy since she likes threesomes and anal sex. Robin asked Howard if he was interested in a threesome but Howard said, “I don’t think I’d like [Beth] to have that kind of attitude.” Either way, we love Christine’s attitude and assets – just check ‘em out!

Artie went on a date with tantalizing Tracy, Miss Howard TV. A called called in to ask about it and Artie said it went well. He took Tracy to the Letterman taping and Sir Ben Kingsley asked to meet him. After appearing, Tracy and Artie exchanged numbers and she called and texted him a couple of times since. According to Artie, “We make arrangements to have dinner.”

Gange decided he wanted Tracy and Artie backed down quickly, saying, “I’m gonna take myself out of this. Gange can go for her.” Apparently Tracy has a boyfriend and Doug Goldstein noted the issue was moot. Tracy already said Gregg the camera man was her staff crush and she made plans to “hang out” with Ronnie the Limo Driver. Doug thought she might be flirting and playing everyone but Tracy called to defend herself.

Howard played more clips of hottie Tabitha Stevens to see what she would agree to do. She agreed to eat whipped cream out of Artie’s ass, let Sal shit on her foot and kiss the penis of a newborn baby for luck.

Howard also played clips of his favorite porn star, the captivating Carmen Luvana, who keeps getting hotter. You’ve just gotta check this rack out…